So, I went to a Bar-B-Q festival today. I had a really good time, but I have a pretty bad stomach ache. I am not from the South, so I am pretty determined to try every type of food I see at these festivals, because I've never had them before, and I don't think I can justify having many of them again (I mean, please, I gain weight by taking the short cut past burger king). The funnel cake is what did me in today. I mean, it tastes good, but I'm pretty sure my body is not meant to process it. For all those like me who do not know what Funnel cake is, I watched it being made. Picture four deep fryers full of steaming oil, a man with a pitcher of batter, and he basically pours the batter into the oil, and it solidifies and fries. I'll try to find a picture. Then you add powdered sugar and eat the whole damn thing. I was kind of out of breath afterwords, and D said the powder all over the front of me was "the opposite of sexy, while still being sexy". That's a diplomatic insult right there! Here is a photo of a funnel cake:
Anyways, the festival was really pretty fun, but the highlight, even better than the BMX show, was the lumberjack show. These people are pretty hard core! I even saw a pregnant woman win one of the competitions, and she was damn tough herself! Basically people race in different events, and then the winner, after preliminary times and stuff, gets to stand on one of those elevated steps with the other top contenders and wins a trophy. A trophy! I want a trophy. I also saw the queen of the festival walking around with her parents with a huge crown on. A crown! I want a crown. I can see how all of this would be really fun, although I had a hard time keeping a staight face with all the explanations of wood- "got to keep it lubricated so it can cut deep", "moving the wood back and forth quickly, and then slowing down for a bit is the best way to cut", signs that said, "Show me your wood". Nobody was laughing but our group, so I guess we are the only ones who are age 5. Here is a photo of one of the competitions:

I also saw the worlds tiniest living horse- which was incredibly depressing. The best quote was when a girl stepped up to answer a trivia question and was asked if she was related to anybody in the competition and she answered, "Them ain't my kin", which actually had to be translated for the crowd, let alone me. My favorite moment, though, was passing by a shoe repair store heading back to the car. Here is the sign on the door- note, this was a store that had nothing to do with guns: