Okay, busy day, and felt about one step behing at all times. I had a confusing discussion with my therapist today. I feel like I walk between borders in relationships- I wear many hats and am friends with contradictory people, and I worry I lie too much in my everyday life, while simultaneously try really hard to be honest- to the point that I am constantly second guessing and correcting my lies. I don't know why I tell little lies, it drives me crazy and makes me seem more insecure than I am, always having to correct lies. I hate it. But I got confused in therapy about what I was trying to talk about- something about how I admire grounded people, and grounded people seem to have strong support systems, like grandmas and parents, that tell them they are doing well, and I don't have that in my family, but I would like to build it outside, except I don't get close to people, and tell all those damn lies. She said that she felt like she was making sense of it, but then time ran out, so I guess I will have to wait for the Holy Grail until next week...